I AM Okay

 Poetry time!

I Am Okay

“I'm okay.” I say that a lot.

pretending I've gained all that I sought.

I smile and put on a mask

trying to convince the world I'm capable of every task

I say “hi” and “bye” and even ask how your day is going

They think I'm doing pretty good, hell they think I'm soaring!

In reality though, I'm fucking struggling

grumbling and feeling like I'm trapped

tumbling down again to nothing

I'm screaming from the heartache

I'm slowly wasting away, praying for a break

Each emotional hit is like a new stab wound,

hitting my vulnerable soul, making me wish it would just hurry up and end soon

Don't worry! It sounds bad, but I'm a determined person

Even though I'd rather be in bed right now, dreaming of a lesser burden

I have strong roots, the kind that refuse to let a temporary storm blow me over

I'll stand as firm as a tree when cooler, stronger winds come in October

I stay grounded, reminding myself of God's love

watching the birds as my music takes me to a safe and peaceful cove

I don't want to miss a thing, even though I combat this disease and its symptoms,

I refuse to be one of its victims!

So, I'll keep fighting

all in hopes of me and joy reuniting.

I may not be as perfect as they say,

but I promise I am okay.

An Introvert Had An Intruder

 The other night, around 2am, as I sat in bed watching Moesha, I suddenly heard my doggie door open. Thinking it was just one of my dogs, I ignored it and continued my dissection of Moesha and Q's relationship. Suddenly, however, I heard a seriously loud hiss and growl, and then all hell broke lose! My walls were literally shaking as both of my dogs charged through the doggie door and outside. I didn't know what was going on. I heard growls and yelps. Stuff was being thrown and knocked over, triggering security lights and causing the other neighborhood dogs to start going crazy. With a shocked mind and pounding heart, I went to save my dogs from the “intruder,” and ran out into my backyard.

Usually I don't have to worry about my dogs, Onyx and Mojo, because they're a pretty good size and very strong. Plus, they're German Shepherd and Rottweiler mixes, so seriously, who's gonna mess with them? Well, when I stepped into my backyard, I saw that both dogs had been pinned against the wall, but the intruder wasn't a giant serial killer like I suspected. There was no Michael Myers or Jason Vorhees. It was actually a 10lb stray cat and it was beating the shit out of my dogs, both of them! Basically, this cat had broken into my home, made its way into my living room and then challenged my dogs to a fight... When the cat saw me, she turned, ran into my patio and hid behind my bike. My dogs, who had been huddled together against the wall, suddenly got courage and chased after the cat. Now they were the ones that had her cornered.

I love all animals, but this cat seemed like she either had a vendetta or that maybe she was rabid. Seriously, her growls sounded like they were coming from a very large, angry mountain lion. I don't know if any of you have ever seen someone get attacked by a domestic cat before, but it is fucking scary! It might as well be a mountain lion! So, I'm not gonna lie, my first thought was to use a weed whacker on it. Not to kill it! I'm not sick. I just wanted to scare it and ensure that if she tried to attack me I would have some sort of powerful protection. Thankfully, I talked myself out of that idea. Instead, I opted for a shovel. I only poked at it and hit the ground next to it, but that cat had glued itself to the ground and the dogs were definitely not helping. They were way too excited at this point and were jumping and barking at the cat who had just handed them their asses. So then I had to separate the dogs from the cat.

Mojo came right in, but Onyx was determined to redeem himself. Eventually after calling him over and over again, I took my baby gate and used it as a shield between me, Onyx and the cat. With the baby gate, I was able to herd Onyx back into the house. With the dogs inside, I tried again to get the cat to leave, but she still wouldn't. Soon, I realized that the cat was just scared, so I calmly told her that everything was okay and that she could leave. At that, she calmly came out from her hiding spot and walked out of the patio and jumped the fence. Crisis over! Thankfully, I did see the cat again the next day, and she was totally fine, so she definitely did not have rabies. I think she just wanted to kick some dog ass!!!

Mojo (the white and black) and Onyx (the black and tan)

Hi, My Name Is...

My name is April Thompson and I am a PROUD Introvert!!!
I was born and raised in Roswell, New Mexico, home of the 1947 U.F.O. crash site. When I was a kid my struggle with severe Depression, Anxiety and Attention Deficit Hyper Activity Disorder was REAL, like REALLY REAL. I tried everything to break free from all three, and in doing so, I discovered that listening to music, writing and playing the piano helped ease the symptoms most. I have even played several piano recitals, won numerous competitions and I became a local and state member of the National Piano Playing Auditions for the American College Of Musicians. Though I did really good in piano, my introvert personality mixed with my other ailments, beat the shit out of me and my grade school experience. It got so bad that I was eventually expelled my senior year of high school. (Don't worry, I'll open up more about this time in my life and how it impacts me now as we continue through this blog, so stay tuned!)

Even so, I still went on to earn my high school diploma and I also graduated from college with degrees in computer information systems and health studies- health promotion and wellness. At the same time, without realizing it, I dove completely in to writing and reading. I would do it all; short stories, full length books, fan fiction, and I even started freelancing for Yahoo, AOL and their sister sites. Whether I was getting paid or not, writing was my way of coping. It's not easy being an introvert, especially in a very judgmental world. If people, weren't thinking something was medically wrong with me, than they just assumed that I was being a bitch, far too important to communicate with them. This was and still is completely opposite of who I actually am!

As I tried to deal with and accept being disliked, I again focused everything I had on writing. I ended up writing and self publishing my first ebook, a Gothic, crime drama, The Cutting Club, which was actually a best seller for a long time! Then came Gamers Vs The Dead; Roswell; The Cutting Club: Reunion; and my short story; Invaders, all of which can be found HERE.

On top of these books, I'm also working on finishing up some anthology collections and other short stories that I may be posting here on the blog. Some of them are funny, while others are scary or make you truly look at the person you are or want to be. Whichever genre or purpose of my books, blogs or short stories, my mission is to distract you all from the stress, fear, anxiety, sadness, and/or irritation you may feel, introvert or not. Alongside fiction, I will mostly be giving my opinion on today's current events. Introverts have a really unique view of politics, celebrities and just life in general. In sharing how I feel about top situations happening in our world, I want to give you another perspective and even an opportunity to argue with me!

That's why I created this blog. I want a space where you and I (introvert or not) can vent, learn and/or relax. Paying homage to my ADHD, sometimes my posts will be long, and other times my post will be short, sweet and to the point. And the grammar and punctuation may not always be perfect. It's my blog, I can do whatever I want with it! 

So then, now that you know who I am and why I'm here, lets jump into this WHOLE introvert thing together! 

Enjoy the journey!